She's Courageous and Pretty
Hello to all. Almost 11 months has
gone by since the last time you saw me. So much change has happened. That is
one thing that we can always count on…change. Most of it has been amazing and
positive. Whereas, there has been a couple of transitions that proved to be a
bit more challenging than others.
So let’s begin. One of those cheesy
cliché sayings that I am sure we have all heard is: “if you love someone, let
them go. If they come back to you, then it was meant to be. If not, then they
were never yours to begin with.” I
guess I never really understood exactly what that meant until I had the
opportunity to experience this first hand. Back in March, I was able to
reconnect with someone whom I hadn’t spoken to in about 5 years. We had
previously dated, and the through a series of life events we lost touch.
Needless to say, I am in love and
grateful for the second chance that we get with one another to do life
together. Since that time we have been able to make many new memories with one
another and cannot wait to see what the future holds. This is someone who
accepts me for who I am, what I have done and loves me anyway. The feeling is
mutual. When you are able to love someone wholeheartedly, and unconditionally-
regardless of their past mistakes/choices make sure you hang on tight. A love
like that is hard to find, and not one I am willing to let go of.
June 2017 was a busy month for me.
Employment changed for me. I am currently working as a youth Peer Support
Specialist for a non-profit mental health organization where I get to use my
own life experience to help kiddos in dealing with theirs. All of the trials
and tribulations I’ve endured in the past, I know see were always meant for
good. For me to be able to share the hope and positivity that can come from
situations that appear hopeless at the time. We are not alone in our struggles,
and we don’t have to go through them in solitude.
Also, I finally graduated from
college. Whoo hoo! After 3 years at community college, I completed my goal and
gained my Associates of Arts Oregon Transfer degree. In addition, I got
accepted into Southern Oregon University where I will be pursuing my Bachelor’s
degree in Human Services. This way I will have the ability to continue learning
and gaining much knowledge in my efforts to continue working with and helping
others “do life” successfully.
Though so many amazing and positive
things have transpired lately; recently, I have had some external stressors in
my life. There is not really a good indicator for me to be aware of before I
get severely triggered, but when it happens “oh boy!” My whole world can seem
to implode in a matter of seconds. What I have learned from this is that I will
never be “fixed”. I have gone through some seriously traumatic experiences in
life that will forever be imprinted on me.
This brings me to say that not all wounds leave
visible scars or cripple us physically. Many of my wounds have come from mental
and emotional abuse. Just because we can’t “see” these emotional/mental scars,
does not mean they don’t exist. I was reminded last week of just how real/deep
my wounds are. I have mental health diagnosis, and this does not make me broken
or any less of a person than the next. It just means that I have to work extra
hard in maintaining a state of “baseline”.
-Shannon Redline-
Read more of Shannon's story on Emotional Healing http://www.rebeccabender.org/blog/2017/11/30/emotional-healing
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