She's Courageous and Pretty
Hello to all. Almost 11 months has gone by since the last time you saw me. So much change has happened. That is one thing that we can always count on…change. Most of it has been amazing and positive. Whereas, there has been a couple of transitions that proved to be a bit more challenging than others.
So let’s begin. One of those cheesy cliché sayings that I am sure we have all heard is: “if you love someone, let them go. If they come back to you, then it was meant to be. If not, then they were never yours to begin with.” I guess I never really understood exactly what that meant until I had the opportunity to experience this first hand. Back in March, I was able to reconnect with someone whom I hadn’t spoken to in about 5 years. We had previously dated, and the through a series of life events we lost touch.
Needless to say, I am in love and grateful for the second chance that we get with one another to do life together. Since that time we have been able to make many new memories with one another and cannot wait to see what the future holds. This is someone who accepts me for who I am, what I have done and loves me anyway. The feeling is mutual. When you are able to love someone wholeheartedly, and unconditionally- regardless of their past mistakes/choices make sure you hang on tight. A love like that is hard to find, and not one I am willing to let go of.
June 2017 was a busy month for me. Employment changed for me. I am currently working as a youth Peer Support Specialist for a non-profit mental health organization where I get to use my own life experience to help kiddos in dealing with theirs. All of the trials and tribulations I’ve endured in the past, I know see were always meant for good. For me to be able to share the hope and positivity that can come from situations that appear hopeless at the time. We are not alone in our struggles, and we don’t have to go through them in solitude.
Also, I finally graduated from college. Whoo hoo! After 3 years at community college, I completed my goal and gained my Associates of Arts Oregon Transfer degree. In addition, I got accepted into Southern Oregon University where I will be pursuing my Bachelor’s degree in Human Services. This way I will have the ability to continue learning and gaining much knowledge in my efforts to continue working with and helping others “do life” successfully.
Though so many amazing and positive things have transpired lately; recently, I have had some external stressors in my life. There is not really a good indicator for me to be aware of before I get severely triggered, but when it happens “oh boy!” My whole world can seem to implode in a matter of seconds. What I have learned from this is that I will never be “fixed”. I have gone through some seriously traumatic experiences in life that will forever be imprinted on me.
This brings me to say that not all wounds leave visible scars or cripple us physically. Many of my wounds have come from mental and emotional abuse. Just because we can’t “see” these emotional/mental scars, does not mean they don’t exist. I was reminded last week of just how real/deep my wounds are. I have mental health diagnosis, and this does not make me broken or any less of a person than the next. It just means that I have to work extra hard in maintaining a state of “baseline”.
Read more of Shannon's story on Emotional Healing http://www.rebeccabender.org/blog/2017/11/30/emotional-healing